Duit Hantaran - Duit Belanja - What is it for?

Okay. mengomel lagi pasal kahwin nieh. 

The other day i read an article in Cosmo about why muda-mudi sekarang sukar mau berkahwin. dalam itu artikel dia tulis pasal duit hantaran sekarang nie dah melampau-lampau tingginya. ada harga pasaran mind you. kalau orang tu ada degree the minimum berapa and what not and what not lah. kekadang tu pon bukan ikut ada degree ke tak. just terus ajer pihak perempuan letak bagi. nah amik ko. kalau ko tak mampu bayaq tak payah nak menikah dengan anak aku katanya. errrrr.

Talking about duit hantaran or some might say duit belanja. What the heck. Its still the same thing. Why people put such a high price on it. I have 8 siblings of which 3 of us are married. My second sister. so waktu my sister got married. we never asked for any hantaran. just mas kahwin by my brother in law consist of seutas rantai emas. that's all. no hantaran whatsoever not. my big brother hantaran RM6k. and my lil bro last year RM10k. itu pon adalah nilai yang dipersetujui oleh kedua-dua pengantin. not the family. 

Some said that. duit hantaran itu adalah untuk buat kenduri kahwin sebelah pihak perempuan. so literally pengantin lelaki are paying for both sides of the wedding ceremony. katanya sekarang ni katering dah makin mahal and what not sebab tu hantaran makin mahal. owhhhhhh. begitu ke?

Some other plak. because of the predecessor yang kahwin tu kena lagi rendah daripada yang nak kawin tuh. contohnya kalau si akak dah kahwin hantaran RM10k. si adik plak kena la lagi tinggi daripada akak. tak bleh lagi murah or sama harga. nanti apa orang kata. WTF? ada plak gunakan jiran or sepupu or orang semukim punya recent hantaran sebagai base. tak bleh lagi rendah. nanti apa orang kata. WTF again!!!

Sometimes i do wonder about what the fuss is all about. now it is somehow terjawab lah. sebab taknak orang mengata katanya. but i thought marriage is for the two people. peduli la apa orang nak kata. supposedly people get married according to their own means. kalau dah parents tu mampu nak buat kenduri RM1 juta pon okay la. dah mampu camtu. tapi kalau yang biasa biasa nie yang jenis kalau nak kahwin memang lelaki tu kena tanggung sebab family is not from the well-off family that can really give a helping hand when it comes to the financial matters. camna tuh. takkan still nak ikut harga pasaran gak kot. 

My friend said. when it comes to marriage ceremony. it is all about the lady's dream. itu tak bleh beralah. perempuan yang set semua dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki. nak memorable katanya. and when you said memorable. it spells out a huge amount of RM. kad kahwin mau yang keras-keras dengan reben segala bagai yang rega setem lagi mahal dari harga kad sebab berat. sebab itu first impression katanya. WTF? pastu wajib ada doorgift untuk bagi orang yang bertandang ke kenduri tu sebab dah memang trend sekarang orang tak bagi bunga telur. bagi door gift plak. nanti apa orang kata. WTF again!!! then photographer plak mesti mau yang harga mahal sebab kalau harga murah nanti gambar kahwin tak cantik katanya. WTF again and again!!! and so many more demands that is just because of the social pressure not really keperluan. 

What about the expenses after marriage then. after all money has been spent on the wedding itself. mau pengsan. habis RM30-40k for the wedding then lepas kahwin makan megi berbulan bulan. hahaha. not the kind of start that appeals to the married people right. 

I on the other hand. would rather spend on something substantial. for myself and whomever the wife to be lah. like the barang hantaran atas dulang tu. let it be something yang memang tahan lama and boleh pakai lama. barang hantaran kotttt and sendiri mau pakai maaa. so beli la benda yang mahal skit tapi bleh tahan lama and memang wearable. then spent more on the honeymoon. memandangkan aku ni travel junkie of course la itu would be the kind of perfect start for the married life. to have that permanent travelling partner to travel together kan. hehehe.

But whatever it is. this is only my perspective. people can actually argue that i am narrow-minded and what not. but i rather like the idea of marriage back to the basic. which is. two people starting a life together. having a ceremony that is memorable by the standard of not how much you spent but how many important people in your life come to celebrate it. then kick start with a good memorable travel journey somewhere that will be the most memorable moment of your life. 

Errr. but seeing the trend nowadays. i don't see that this will be happening. just have to keep up with the trend katanya. wadefish. 

p/s: tetiba rasa cam nak kahwin kat selatan thailand ajer cam itu citer ombak rindu...dah trend katanya...maya karin lagi weih...hahaha...

AW