Thursday, August 22, 2013

Duit Hantaran - Duit Belanja - What is it for?

Okay. mengomel lagi pasal kahwin nieh. 

The other day i read an article in Cosmo about why muda-mudi sekarang sukar mau berkahwin. dalam itu artikel dia tulis pasal duit hantaran sekarang nie dah melampau-lampau tingginya. ada harga pasaran mind you. kalau orang tu ada degree the minimum berapa and what not and what not lah. kekadang tu pon bukan ikut ada degree ke tak. just terus ajer pihak perempuan letak bagi. nah amik ko. kalau ko tak mampu bayaq tak payah nak menikah dengan anak aku katanya. errrrr.

Talking about duit hantaran or some might say duit belanja. What the heck. Its still the same thing. Why people put such a high price on it. I have 8 siblings of which 3 of us are married. My second sister. so waktu my sister got married. we never asked for any hantaran. just mas kahwin by my brother in law consist of seutas rantai emas. that's all. no hantaran whatsoever not. my big brother hantaran RM6k. and my lil bro last year RM10k. itu pon adalah nilai yang dipersetujui oleh kedua-dua pengantin. not the family. 

Some said that. duit hantaran itu adalah untuk buat kenduri kahwin sebelah pihak perempuan. so literally pengantin lelaki are paying for both sides of the wedding ceremony. katanya sekarang ni katering dah makin mahal and what not sebab tu hantaran makin mahal. owhhhhhh. begitu ke?

Some other plak. because of the predecessor yang kahwin tu kena lagi rendah daripada yang nak kawin tuh. contohnya kalau si akak dah kahwin hantaran RM10k. si adik plak kena la lagi tinggi daripada akak. tak bleh lagi murah or sama harga. nanti apa orang kata. WTF? ada plak gunakan jiran or sepupu or orang semukim punya recent hantaran sebagai base. tak bleh lagi rendah. nanti apa orang kata. WTF again!!!

Sometimes i do wonder about what the fuss is all about. now it is somehow terjawab lah. sebab taknak orang mengata katanya. but i thought marriage is for the two people. peduli la apa orang nak kata. supposedly people get married according to their own means. kalau dah parents tu mampu nak buat kenduri RM1 juta pon okay la. dah mampu camtu. tapi kalau yang biasa biasa nie yang jenis kalau nak kahwin memang lelaki tu kena tanggung sebab family is not from the well-off family that can really give a helping hand when it comes to the financial matters. camna tuh. takkan still nak ikut harga pasaran gak kot. 

My friend said. when it comes to marriage ceremony. it is all about the lady's dream. itu tak bleh beralah. perempuan yang set semua dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki. nak memorable katanya. and when you said memorable. it spells out a huge amount of RM. kad kahwin mau yang keras-keras dengan reben segala bagai yang rega setem lagi mahal dari harga kad sebab berat. sebab itu first impression katanya. WTF? pastu wajib ada doorgift untuk bagi orang yang bertandang ke kenduri tu sebab dah memang trend sekarang orang tak bagi bunga telur. bagi door gift plak. nanti apa orang kata. WTF again!!! then photographer plak mesti mau yang harga mahal sebab kalau harga murah nanti gambar kahwin tak cantik katanya. WTF again and again!!! and so many more demands that is just because of the social pressure not really keperluan. 

What about the expenses after marriage then. after all money has been spent on the wedding itself. mau pengsan. habis RM30-40k for the wedding then lepas kahwin makan megi berbulan bulan. hahaha. not the kind of start that appeals to the married people right. 

I on the other hand. would rather spend on something substantial. for myself and whomever the wife to be lah. like the barang hantaran atas dulang tu. let it be something yang memang tahan lama and boleh pakai lama. barang hantaran kotttt and sendiri mau pakai maaa. so beli la benda yang mahal skit tapi bleh tahan lama and memang wearable. then spent more on the honeymoon. memandangkan aku ni travel junkie of course la itu would be the kind of perfect start for the married life. to have that permanent travelling partner to travel together kan. hehehe.

But whatever it is. this is only my perspective. people can actually argue that i am narrow-minded and what not. but i rather like the idea of marriage back to the basic. which is. two people starting a life together. having a ceremony that is memorable by the standard of not how much you spent but how many important people in your life come to celebrate it. then kick start with a good memorable travel journey somewhere that will be the most memorable moment of your life. 

Errr. but seeing the trend nowadays. i don't see that this will be happening. just have to keep up with the trend katanya. wadefish. 

p/s: tetiba rasa cam nak kahwin kat selatan thailand ajer cam itu citer ombak rindu...dah trend katanya...maya karin lagi weih...hahaha...

AW

12 comments:

marmalade said...

i kira ada dalam 5 WTF for this entry. waaaahhhh!

alah akmal, society pressure.

muhamadakmalwahab said...

Pn Hayati yang tak lama lagi bergelar Ibu Hayati:
hahaha. well the society demands it. nak buat camna. kalau nak hantaran murah kena la cari foreigner or anak yatim piatu yang membesar kat rumah anak-anak yatim. hahaha.
actually banyak lagi yang bleh jadi WTF tapi tak larat nak tulis dah. hahaha.

Wuhuu Mommy said...

My friend said. when it comes to marriage ceremony. it is all about the lady's dream --- ni bukan aku kan? Hahahahaha.

Mal, spt aku ckp, kali ni ko yg groomzilla. Selalu aku jumpa bridezilla je. Kekekeke. Tak lama dahh, pasni ok. Hang in there dude!

muhamadakmalwahab said...

Mommy :
Bukan dikau...ada member aku sorang lelaki yang cakap...dia dulu ada same experience...but the difference is dia punya parents mampu...so boleh la buat meletops bagai...hahaha...

aku okay ajer...this is just a general perspective from me...hehehe...

Yuyu Atiqa said...

salam hormat.

last statement tu tak boleh blah.
by the way, memang isu pasal hantaran ni tengah hangat eh sekarang?

peace. :)

Abd Hadi said...

haha been there done that. tapi at least masa aku dulu takde la macam kau ni... sabau je la. welcome to pre-marriage period. u gonna hate it! hahaha

dhr said...

Marriage vs wedding. Kami kategori keluarga tak mampu nak sponsor, masa kawen totally guna duit sendiri. Nasib baik kebetulan masa tu my husband dah boleh keluar duit KWSP. Jadi segalanya serba sederhana termasuklah barang2 hantaran. Kalo ikutkan dream aku- handbag chanel, jam rolex, cincin solitaire entah berapa karat. Tapi sebab memikirkan marriage lebih penting dari wedding jadi aku berpijak di bumi nyata. Banyak lagi masa nak dapat chanel, rolex & cincin idaman selepas kahwin walaupun selepas 4 tahun satu pun belum tercapai! huhu...tapi at least tak suffer financially bayar hutang utk wedding. Hehe~

p/s: dah bau nasik minyak aloq setaq baq hang! :p

Creobic said...

The most memorable part cuma masa akad nikah je kot. Album kahwin aku simpan bawah katil. xde masa nak imbas2 balik. hehehe

muhamadakmalwahab said...

Yuyu Atiqa :
Salam hormat...rasanya agak hangat jugak la...dengan kadar kebankrapan dikalangan muda-mudi yang makin meningkat yang mana one of the reason ialah sebab terpaksa amik personal loan bila nak kahwin sebab tak mampu...tapi like i said la...kalau mampu tak kisah nak buat grand wedding camna pon...tapi kesian dekat yang kurang berkemampuan tapi memang nak kahwin...

peace jugak...hehehe...

muhamadakmalwahab said...

Abd Hadi :
Ini trending sekarang la...bila aku nak kahwin nanti mesti mau pengsan weih kalau ini trending zaman sekarang...hahaha...hopefully not lah...aminnnn...

muhamadakmalwahab said...

DHR :
Hahaha...bila aku mau masak nasi minyak wajib la aku hantar kad dekat hang di Manila nun kan...angkot skali Jacques hokeh...
Tapi akak dian dah ada beg LV sekarang okeh...cool apa...
Tapi itu la...kahwin sekarang ni dah jadi ikut trending no longer ikut the basic principles...itu yang kesian kat orang-orang yang kurang berkemampuan tetapi terpaksa jugak la sebab society pressure...huhuhu...

muhamadakmalwahab said...

Creobic :
Betoi...nikah tu yang wajib...majlis tu buat ala kadar sekadar termampu dan panggil jiran jiran terdekat, kengkawan rapat dan saudara mara cukup...tapi sekarang marriage industry is one of the ever-growing industry because of the social demands...so have to bear with it la kot...hehehe...