Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Getting Married Or Getting Financially Broke?

Lately i found myself thinking about marriage (thanks to my friends who already found their other half)....some of my friends thought that i am THAT desperate to get married...well i DO want to get married, but i am NOT that desperate...after some buddies talk with my close friends, i like to let it be...and let god decide for me whats good for me...who's the one that i should pick or who's the one that i will grow old with...i leave it in the hands of god...~jodoh adalah ketentuan tuhan yang tidak berubah~

Recently i listen to one of my bosses talking about his son's upcoming marriage...and he blatantly told us that it is not cheap to get married...hurmmm...hearing how much he have to spent for his son's marriage (huh? the father paid for the son's wedding, how 'wonderful') all of us who are still single best be prepared for when it is the time for either one of us to get married...

I don't really believe in spending extravagantly for a wedding...call me a loser, unromantic or kedekut, and i don't care....coz the way i see it....it is the bond is more important...religion-wise i mean...i heard some of my friends who had up to RM30,000 as the dowry along with handbags, perfumes, shoes that only spells out more zeros at the back...well...if you are up to and totally can afford it, why not...but for those who aren't that lucky to have their 'father' to PAY for the wedding and starving themselves every month so that they can meet the demand of the intended's family of high dowry, then i feel sorry for them...some even resort to a personal loan to get married...which is totally acceptable as long as you know that the person is the ONE for you....if it falls apart in the middle of the life-long journey, then i feel sorry for them be paying their ruined marriage (on top of the alimony and all) long even after they are separated...that would be 'awesome'~sarcastic tone applied~

Talking about dowry, once i asked a friend how much she would be demanding for her dowry...and not to my surprise, she quoted 5 figures...its like 'the market' price nowadays...and if she go any lower, people around would question why she is so 'cheap'....huh? i was totally flabbergasted...i never known until that day that people have market price for dowries in Malaysia...if the girl have diploma, there's a price, if she have degree, it would be a lil bit higher, and it goes on (education-wise)...then i was wondering how much it would cost for a PhD holder...not to mention if she is the youngest and the sisters are all married, she must have HIGHER dowry than her previous married sisters....huh? i was rendered speechless....call me a dreamer if you want, but i am waiting for a girl who would say to me that she would be content to have 'SENASKAH AL-QURAN & SEHELAI SEJADAH' for her dowry...yeah i can hear people saying ~Dream On~....coz in this materialistic world, the odds are 1:10,000 for that would happen...or more....but i am betting on the odds...huaauahauahauah

Wedding ceremony is just a day where the couple sharing their happiest day of their life with their relatives, neighbors and friends...and i don't think that extravagant spells out more happiness (unless if the girl is ONLY gonna be happy with big wedding)...as for me...a modest wedding would be just nice...just celebrate with family and friends and close neighbors in the neighborhood...you can indeed have a modest wedding and still be happy....and enjoy every moment of it without thinking that you spend too much on your wedding...what if suddenly most of your friends and relatives can't make it to your lavish & extravagant wedding as they have other 'important' engagement in their hands? what if you already have their RSVP and had their seats paid (for those who held it in hotels and convention centre) and having seeing the seats are empty? and it hurts badly when it cost more than RM100 for that particular one seat....think about it...

Ironically enough i have a friend who's girlfriend (now already wife la) who just content on having 'senaskah Al-Quran & sehelai sejadah' as her dowry...they have a modest ceremony (on the guy's side) having invited relatives and close friends as well as neighbors to come and celebrate their wedding done in the comfort of his home...no pelamin, only astaka decorated wonderfully with flower and petals for the total purpose of taking pictures...the pictures came out great, the wedding had great ambience served with the normal wedding cuisines...and they are happy to celebrate it that way (eventho on the girl's side they held it in Hilton Hotel)...i went to both weddings and i rather like the former...it felt better and much more alive....and i still remember what both my friend and his wife told me, 'have a modest wedding and you can spend it more on yourself going for honeymoon or umrah with your love ones' (which he was referring to his wife la)...hurmm...i kinda like the idea...huahuahuah....

Extravagant or not, people are entitled to have a say of how they would love to have their wedding ceremony done...and it is by choice...then again, marriage is not only for one day....the ceremony, yeah it is for one day (or some have it 7 nites celebration ~huh~), but the bond last forever....or that is until you have irrevocable differences....

ajie
10:39 p.m
13 October 2009
PUTRAJAYA






18 comments:

RARA said...

well akmal, it's depends. kalau bakal bini kau ok nak buat simple2, ok la.

tak kisah la asalkan kawen sudahhh.

aku takpa 2011 so sempat simpan duit. ahaks

zetty said...

It all depends on both sides. Kalau boleh, I nak simple je, takyah lavish pun. *ceh.. Tengok kemampuan pihak lelaki macam mana jugak. Yang penting everything berjalan lancar.

But masa cousin I kawen, dia tension sebab banyak gadoh dengan her husband time tu. Planning for the wedding could be excruciating for some people.

Cherrie Pie Sweety said...

yep.. kene banyak discuss la kot mal.. kadang2 keluarga punya kehendak lagi..macam2 kalo nak kawen ni..penin okeyhh.. and i pray that you will meet your dream girl of "senaskhah Al-Quran" heheheh :)

muhamadakmalwahab said...

rara : kalau nak lavish...aku suh dia wat belah dia punya kenduri...me? NO SANDING...thats all...

zet : yeah i experience it as well during my big bro's wedding...thats why i will just be happy with modest wedding...and kalau la bakal bini i nak jugak LAVISH & EXTRAVAGANT WEDDING, then she can have that waktu kenduri belah dia la...pihak laki wat kenduri menyambut ajer...huahauha...keji tak setetmen?

cher : owh dat so sweet....i hope i will me the girl of senaskah al-quran....

zetty said...

mamal: keji okey! owh you're so vain!

muhamadakmalwahab said...

zet : hahahaha...its a matter of choice honey...huahauhauhau

Nadewas said...

My wedding would be an unforgettable one! even for those who attend :-) I want a funky kewl wedding!

well..best of luck! have fun dulu k! :-)

nazat said...

~jodoh adalah ketentuan tuhan yang tidak berubah~

i like this quote!

nway..

cepat la kawen mal..leh tambah geng ke jalan tar neh..mcm mie n tina..

muhamadakmalwahab said...

nawal : thanks...and be sure to invite me for your weddin...i sure will have you in my invitation list..heheheh

leen : betul...aku memang ler nak kawin...cuma tuhan tak bagi petunjuk lagi....insya allah...tahun depan aku rasa ada ajer bertambah geng Jalan TAR...tapi tak tau sapa...
p.s : yang pastinya akan ada tina & zaimee junior..huahuah...tina dah confirm pregnant 1 bulan

Jaja Yunizah said...

well, better go for a moderate wedding laa...

marmalade said...

people always tend to forget that the post-wedding is the one that should be memorable.

wedding should be a happy occassion. i'm not saying that the western culture (do they have one anyway?) but look at how small and intimate their weddings are.

memang meriah to have big weddings. if you can afford it, why not? but even if i can, i wouldn't. the investment is supposed to be on the relationship, not the event celebrating it.

muhamadakmalwahab said...

jaja : betul pok..moderate wedding ~simpan duit~bley gi travel..huahauha

mala : i totally agree...and i do agree on the aspect the western do have their wedding in a small scale by inviting only certain people that they want to invite...the person whom presence means a lot to the couple...big weddings?my big bro had one...and it was hectic...my parents seems to be enjoying it...everyone actually enjoyed that...good for them...but after that...hurmmm...needless to say lah...thats why i say...i wouldn't spend alot on the ceremony...but i would spend the money that supposed to spent on the wedding for the new home, honeymoon etc...but well...thats just me...

dizzyfly said...

tak perlu yang lavish. if you can plan it well, u'll have a simple but a grand one. that's my target. in my condition mal, the dowry will be used to pay the dais, the food and all. tak masuk poket sendiri pun. hehehe. separuh org, dowry tu dia bagi dekat anak dia balik to start up new life like buying sofa/bed/tv basic necessities.

and again, terpulang kepada keluarga tu. my future sis in law demanded RM15K dan dia hanya SPM holder je. cuma, dia meniaga pasar malam and earn like RM5-8K every month. it depends on the family. hehe. jgn terkejut tgk dowry aku nanti ok?

muhamadakmalwahab said...

pasal dowry tu yang aku heran skit tu...kalau nak bagi kat anak dia balik untuk start up new life like buying all those basic necesseties perlukah demand?sebab in the end guna sama gak laki bini...or is it just for the sake of the numbers?

demand RM15k...and seriously aku memang tak tau how people put on the market price...cam aku cakap dalam blog aku, ada tu sebab ada neighbor/relative pressure...kalau mintak skit kata tak laku and all...haiiii....memang alamat aku ni rasanya akan end up dengan orphan la kot...just mas kawin, majlis...no need for hantaran...coz hantaran is not the wajib part...its just the adat melayu...mas kahwin wajib...people tend to be confused between the two...

cam aku cakap la...aku tak berate people who demand high dowry...just, kalau boleh aku taknak la kena ikat perut semata mata...tapi kalau jadi gak kat aku then i just take it as ketentuan Allah...

Pengejar Masa said...

apa kejadahnya buang duit buat wedding besar2? pastu berhutang.

kan lagi bagus duit tu buat gi honeymmon kat europe.

muhamadakmalwahab said...

exactly my point...

papaya said...

If dekat2, buat ar gabung cam aku.. Jimat banyak giler weh and sangat2 bersyukur sebab Wan tak perlu berhutang..

Seriously, starting a family with debt is a big NO. Nanti bile tensyen, mule ungkit mengungkit..

kadang2, ade family yang demand tinggi sikit tu bukannye ape, diorang nak tampung duit belanja majlis.. Biasalar, bab kawin ni, parents yang extra excited..

muhamadakmalwahab said...

itu ler...aku pikiaq cam nak kawin tahun depan ajer lepas dapat taraf berpencen then kuaq semua KWSP...kawin...orang semua cakap tak cukup...tapi aku bukan nak wat yang grand grand...just enough untuk kengkawan and family datang tuk menyambut kegembiraan aku...heheheh

betul betul...debt is a big thing...dah ler keta punya debt pon tak abis bayar lagi...nak tambah lagi on top of that?i dont think so...kalau the debt is to buy a house then tak kisah la...coz its something for the future together

aku tau...tapi dont you think that the guy also nak kena wat dia punya side punya kenduri gak? kalau gabung cam ko...okay la...it is as if the investment together for the marriage...as for hantaran aku dah tak risau dah...aku dah ada sponsors...hauhauahauhauh